Welcomed Distractions [Valerie/Komachi]

i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

A sketch.

It all starts from a sketch. And there were dozens of them strewn about Komachi's room. Some were piled up on her desk. Others in on a corkboard with pins and notes stuck atop them. A few more were scattered atop her bed, slightly crumpled from the fact that she had slept atop them the night before after exhausting herself. Komachi's sense of inspiration was always scattershot, going everywhere until she could capture that lightning in a bottle. Unfortunately, that dedication to searching for the next design often resulted in the tidiness of things around her. She'd clean up...eventually.

And now, a sunny and warm afternoon just after classes, wasn't the time for it. At the very least, Komachi could still remember her other schoolwork and was diligent enough to get it done, even if it took a while. But that just meant it was another mess that was added onto the whole scene, as her math notes and textbook occupied what little real estate was left on her desk. Thankfully, math wasn't a hard subject for the brunette; it was only the tedium and absurd number of problems that the teacher had assigned to her that was the main source of frustration.

With the completion of the last problem, she threw her pencil across the desk where it skittered to the edge, teetering but not falling down. She leaned back against her chair and wiped her brow. Even though it was her second year in Fukui, she still wasn't used to the sweltering heat of the summers, but she at least knew how to dress down in basketball shorts and a tank top for it. After a sigh and a deep breath, she leaned forward again to check over her work, but her eyes were glazed over and barely paying attention.

Instead, it was a distant knock on the door that caught Komachi's focus, though she found herself unsurprised, figuring it was her roommate Elanor who wanted some help with the door. Komachi groaned as she got out of her chair, stretching her arm and calling out with a "Be right there!" before she headed to the door. Komachi still had enough self awareness to at least fix her hair and shirt before reaching for the door handle.

"I gotcha, Harper-san...? Eh?!" Komachi started her greeting, still thinking it was her roommate at the other side as she opened the door before flinching in surprise. "A-ah! Valerie-san! Hey! Glad to see you!" The initial shock wore off fast and was replaced by excitement. "Come in, come in. I uh...I sorta need to clean up, but I can get you some tea."

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

Valerie's keen sense of organization had meant she'd finished her homework already. Though unlike Komachi, her art dealt with people, so what they could actually saddle her with fluctuated, and this was something of an ebb time for the American. So, now it was just time to visit her friend.

She smiled as she saw Komachi's face, "Tea sounds lovely, thank you. And how are you doing, Komachi-san?" she asked, smiling as she was invited in. It was only after she'd entered that the greater mess caught her eye. Komachi might notice a slight look of contemplation on her face.

"I'd be happy to help clean this up while you're preparing it." she told her, an oddly maternal tone in her voice, "It'd be no problem - I'm used to my siblings being a bit messy."

She blushed, wondering if she'd violated some ettiquite rule, commenting on the mess, even if it was obvious. "... Of course, this was a somewhat impromptu visit." Ettiquite could be a rather messy subject, even in your own home country, not to mention an foreign one.

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i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

"How am I?" Komachi echoed as she shamelessly lead the way to her part of the dorm. "I think I'm okay, I guess. Really, any problems I am having isn't schoolwork related. Just finished the last bit of homework I had, and was about to throw myself at the wall with my new project. I mean, I'm glad to have a new project, but...it takes a lot out of me."

Despite the mess and the heat, there really wasn't a smell, just the overall disorganization that only got worse as the tailer opened up her closet and started to dig for her tea set. When it came to tea, most of the time it was done at her friend Misha's room, so she had really never needed to bring out her own tea paraphernalia until now.

"Hm...?!" Valerie's offer made Komachi flinch in surprise, though thankfully she retained the grip on the tea set as turned around. She glanced around the room, finally taking in the breadth of disarray. "I mean. W-well. ...I want say there's a method to the madness, but there really isn't."

Komachi glanced over the various notes and scraps there were littered about her room. They were the myriad sketchs and concepts that she had come up with for Valerie's jacket. She never tried to keep it a secret, and it was unlikely that any of the patterns on the paper now would be what the final product would look like.

"...I suppose throwing all the notes in a pile can't make things worse. If I had known, I'd clean up a bit. But... thank you, Valerie-san. You don't need to help but...I won't turn help down." Komachi bowed thankfully before skitterring off to get some water to boil.

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

"Of course, I'm happy to help, Komachi-san." Valerie mentioned, with a smile, as she began sorting through the papers. She wasn't trying to spy, but deduce some method by which to sort through it. She let out a huff of mild frustration, quickly realizing that it was an exercise in futility. So she briefly stacked them based on where she found them, so there would at least be some order. She was certainly impressed with some of the concepts.

She didn't have any cleaning supplies on her, but her mind immediately moved to what she could do without. She went about straightening up what she could, whether it was putting pillows back on the couch, or throwing away things that were clearly garbage.

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i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

There was an sense of unease that seemed to creep upon Komachi's back as she flipped on the water heater and unstacked the teacups. As the water started to boil, the tailor looked back to watch Valerie bring order to the chaos that was Komachi's bedroom. Instead of pouring the tea leaves into the tea pot in preparation, Komachi instead mulled over her situation.

Yuki had dropped by unannounced many times before when Komachi was still in Tokyo and it never felt awkward when Komachi was wearing attire similar to what she had on now. And likewise, Valerie hadn't complained. At least not verbally. But was the green-haired girl really non-plussed over how both the room and it's primary occupant were so disheveled? Komachi couldn't tell.

Now that the brunette thought about it - she could (at least for the most part) easily read Yuki's feelings. But she couldn't with Valerie. Sure, Valerie and Yuki shared a similar steadfast stubbornness and uncanny leadership, but after that...?

The snap of the water heater brought Komachi back to reality as she hastily stuffed the teapot with tea leaves followed by the hot water. As the tea steeped, she hastily ran back to her room, trying to dodge around Valerie as she grabbed a small bag of rice crackers, a proper t-shirt and shorts before rushing back to the tea set. Komachi pulled the new set of clothes over her current set even with the summer heat before disposing of the tea leaves.

Lest she drop the tray, Komachi took a deep breath before picking the tray up and carrying it back to her room, pausing to find an open place to set it down. "Ah...Valerie-san...? The tea is ready. And...thank you for....helping cleaning up." Komachi said as she poured out the tea into the teacups. Her voice was strangely timid, lacking the usual boisterous energy.

Instead, as she opened the bag of rice crackers and poured them into the small tray, Komachi's mind was riffling through her memory, trying to recall all the little details about Valerie she was able to deduce from the time they had spent together so far. Finding no graceful way to dispose of the bag, Komachi pocketed it with a sigh. Subtly was not Komachi's forte, but for some stubborn reason, she was still going to try.

"So..Valerie-san...? Anything on your mind lately...?"

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

Komachi might notice that in the short time she'd been distracted, Valerie had made more progress on the room than you would think she could. The room was still a bit disheveled, and there were a couple of shortcuts used, but the room was a bit more presentable now. Was there attention to detail? No, the pillows were on the couch, but they were laying flat rather than propped up. But it was presentable.

As Komachi announced the tea was ready, Valerie's posture changed to be more energetic, almost as if she was snapping out of a trance. "Oh, tea! Lovely!" she said, coming out of her reminiscence about her old home life.

She sat down to tea, taking a sip while it was still hot. She nearly burned herself, but being polite and all. She smiled, "Nothing in particular." she explained, her tone friendly, and without a hint of deception. Because as far as she was concerned, this was no different than anything else in her life - it was just what came naturally to her. There wasn't any frustration either, for the same reason.

It was all she'd ever known, before now. She frowned, wondering if she'd committed some unknown faux pas.

"Did I do something that said otherwise?" she asked.

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ulla

i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

Komachi seemed to visibly relax as Valerie looked more visibly chipper, barely able to suppress the sound of her sigh of relief. It took a bit longer for her to take her teacup and slowly walk towards where Valerie was sitting.

"Well, you seemed so focused when putting things away that...I thought you were rather angry at me," Komachi admitted, closing her eyes to give Valerie a nervous smile before carefully sitting down next to her, taking care to not spill her tea. She paused once more to take a sip from her tea, drawing in a deep breath.

"I really have hard time talking to people and...sorta trying to figure them out," Komachi admitted rather bluntly, staring into the tall teacup in her hand. "Sure, I can play the cunning businesswoman, I can communicate with a client to understand what they want to commission, but after that...?"

Komachi trailed off, the frustration in her voice very clear. She glanced to the side, towards the window before sighing. "I told you about my friends in Tokyo, right? I got to know them really well. All their little quirks, and tells...as much as I could. Some were really eccentric but thankfully we had others who understood them well enouh and..."

The tailor found herself at a loss of words, so she looked to Valerie again, frowning. "You've really saved my butt a lot of times you know? But when I try to remember to remember everything about you I...I remember you talking about family, how hard you work to support them. I remember that you're really good at cooking. I remember how well you can lead a group that just...didn't want to be lead. Yet...I don't feel like I've...remembered enough, and that's not how a friend should be."

Komachi's jaw was visibly moving in frustration for a few moments before she tried to settle herself with a bit of tea. "I really am kicking myself mentally over trying to find a better way to say it but...I do want to make it up to you and...learn about you more," Komachi said, blinking and hastily adding, "And...thank you for dropping by. I'm...glad you did."

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

She frowned again, and closed her eyes for a moment to think. She certainly didn't want Komachi to think she was mad at her. She honestly couldn't think of any time she'd been particularly angry at her friend, bar perhaps anger born of worry.

As Komachi finished talking about how she didn't really get people, how despite having been friends for a while, she didn't really know her. Her breathing got heavier, shakier, as she worked up the nerve.

"That's... I suppose." she said, her voice shaking, as she struggled to work up the courage. She put down the cup of tea, to free up any attention or energy she had. She took a deep breath.

She opened her eyes, "I suppose..." she looked to the side, "There's... not really a lot to know about me. My parents... didn't. Didn't parent, that is. That was my job. They drove and got the groceries, and I suppose they picked up the checks when that came up. Cooking, cleaning, that was me."

She almost shrunk, tearing up a bit, A part of her wondered whether to stop, but the floodgates had opened. It all had to come out. "To... tell you the truth, I still struggle to figure out what to do with my time. Or where my siblings are. When CPS - child protection services came in, that's when I got sent here. I suppose I had experience managing a circus." she laughed bitterly.

She clenched her fist, as she visibly was struggling. Anger, resentment, she still struggled with it. Far from hesitant, she now wanted to let Komachi know everything. But she didn't want Komachi to have to bear everything.

288| @tagged | notes

ulla

i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

Inside Komachi's head, the tailor was kicking herself for how absolutely awkwardly she had worded things. Despite how blunt her words were, she felt like she was still beating around the bush way too much. The frustration only got worse as she saw Valerie close her eyes and frown, but before Komachi could tell her that she didn't need to answer, the green-haired girl spoke.

Komachi listened intently, nodding softly at each beat. Without any hints beyond having to take care of siblings, Komachi held no expectations for what Valerie would have to say. Yet, she was still caught off-guard. The tailor was somewhat familiar with the notions of neglectful or missing parents - so many of her friends in Tokyo came from such backgrounds that it always made the tailor feel so out of place, always worsening the feeling that somehow, some way, Komachi cheated to get where she was.

All of the skills that Komachi admired in Valerie - wrangling unruly classmates, cooking for a group, and managing to stay composed through it all - it made sense now, but it still left a bitter taste in Komachi's mouth. Nervously, Komachi slowly reached out to Valerie. It was a reflexive action - behind Komachi's frown, she was panicking. Calming down someone was outside her skillset - there was always one of her other friends around who would handle it with ease as if by magic. But now it was just the two of them, alone in her room.

"I'm... I'm glad you're here, Valerie-chan. Thank you." Komachi spoke softly as her hands fell atop Valerie's, gingerly pressing on the green-haired girl's fingers in the hope that it would get her to unfurl her hand. "You really are amazing, you know? If...If I can help...please tell me?" Slowly, both of the tailor's hands were atop Valeries, and Komachi gave the green-haired girl as encouraging a smile as she could muster.

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

The touch of Komachi's hand snapped her out of her own head a bit, as her hand slowly unfurled, her fingertips contacting her friend's. She made eye contact again. For perhaps the first time since Komachi had met her, Valerie would meet her gaze with a look of vulnerability and uncertainty.

Freedom came with it a lack of firm direction. For all the work and self-sacrifice it was, her family had afforded her a certain sense of purpose. Now, outside her art, she had nothing. Being a producer let her simulate that old feeling for a little bit.

Ash she received compliments, her cheeks went just slightly rosy, as she felt a drop of affection enter that emptiness - even if it was 'just' platonic. "I'm... not sure." she sighed, "To be honest. there's... a lot of important questions I've avoided." Like how she was going to live her life.

She paused, looking a bit demure, "But, you.. you really think I'm..." she says weakly, and more than a little awkwardly, her hand curling a little more around Komachi's.

This was... in some ways the true Valerie. Underneath her orderly, motherly  producer side. A young woman who was struggling to navigate life outside the role she had once been cast in. Someone who could be a bit awkward outside the boundaries she'd set for herself.

232| @tagged | notes

ulla

i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

Much to Komachi's disbelief, it seemed like Valerie was able to calm down, even just a little. As the green-haired girl's hand curled around, Komachi's hands shifted to keep their gently hold out of reflex. It was a strange, foreign, yet still comforting sensation. But the tailor had no time to dwell on it - her attention was fully captured by the expression that Valerie had on her face. Far removed from the confident director or the graceful waitress, and the brief moment of relief Komachi had gave way to a heavy sensation in her chest.

What was the best way to answer the question? Sure, Komachi did admire Valerie's skill and presence and... probably other things that she really couldn't find the right words to describe. Surely there was some sort of way to elegant express it in the way her friends magically could. There was a lingering fear, a worry that whatever was said would be taken the wrong way, or would be even insulting. The brunnette opened her mouth briefly before shutting it with a huff, then finally uttered out loud:

"Uhh...Yeah."

In a single moment, Komachi mentally threw out all the calculations in her mind and blurted out what was in her heart. Her thumbs started to brush at Valerie's hand unconsciously as she softly chuckled. The less the tailor had to think about her words, the more naturally she seemed to speak, and so poured out confessions from her stream of consciousness.

"You know, you put so much effort into everything you do, and because of that, you get a lot done. At school, you got an entire production crew at your beck and call. You got your work outside of school, and you got your family that you took care of. Hell, you've even taken care of me, humoured me with my dumb adventures and zealous doting, and...you know I really, really, really do look up to you and your strength,"

There was that wide grin on Komachi's face as she looked to Valerie with that old, comfortable devil-may-care energy.

"I'm kinda jealous, you know? I feel like a tagalong who started things off in easy-mode. Even in my niche of being one of the tinkerers among my friends, I kind of was the dumbest of all of them, and yeah sure, it's relative, but still sorta stings when you got geniuses as friends. So it always felt like I was having to catch up to them all the time."

Komachi shrugged before getting her mind back on track. "Anyways, yeah...I'd like to know what questions you got. Even if I don't have an answer, I believe in my friends enough that I can probably relay something them, because I know they can handle it better."

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

She cringed a bit as she heard the 'yeah' wondering if she'd overwhelmed her friend with her problem for a moment. The self-doubt didn't last long, thankfully, as Komachi managed to proceed more naturally.

She blushed as she was praised, not used to the feeling of being the supported rather than the supporter, "I... hardly would say they're at my beck and call..." she stuttered. Right now she was assistant manager at best, a metaphorical gopher at worst.

But that was just part of it, and she thankfully wasn't stripping out one phrase to focus on in her head. Her hand closed a bit more around Komachi's as she was further encouraged, and unwittingly rubbed her own thumb back and forth across her friend's hand.

She got a little more out of her own head as Komachi disclosed her own insecurities - not that the heiress hadn't been straightforward about her doubts before. "Komachi. I mean, you didn't have to earn your way up, but... you've never stood back and rested on your laurels either. And to be fair..."

She gave her a pained, but genuinely joking smile, "If you were stuck in the middle of Tokyo with $50, you'd have your own business within a week. You've never had to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, but... you've always struck me as having the kind of spirit where you could." And now she was focused on Komachi's problems. It was almost reflexive - and quite possibly not that healthy. But avoiding her own pain was easier.

263| @tagged | notes

ulla

i am not interested in fulfilling borrowed dreams

❝

Seeing the normally composed and in-control Valerie stutter was amusing to Komachi, who had the word 'cute' ring out inexplicably in the back of her mind for reasons she couldn't be bothered to fathom. The grip on Valerie's hand loosened, but was reluctant to fully let go, letting only a single hand remain with the green-haired girl.

"Hah! If it was that easy, I would have done it already," Komachi replied, laughing and shaking her head mirthfully. "But I get it. Thanks." The tailor looked out ahead of her in thought, amused and musing.

"Honestly, if I was able to draw up a business from a shoestring budget, I wouldn't say it's because I am skilled, per se. I know people who also know people who I can lean on and get a few strings pulled. Kind of like Misha-cha...I mean, Shirayama-san, but she's just so much more charismatic compared to me." With a sigh, Komachi finally let her hands slip away from Valerie's as she leaned back and looked up at the ceiling in frustration. "Sure, I can probably willpower my way though it but...that's really all I got. And the uncanny knack for clothes."

There was a quiet pause before Komachi stood up again, walking towards the teapot and putting the back of her hand to feel for it. "How are you feeling, Valerie-chan? Any better?" Komachi asked, walking back to her teacup to finish it in a single swift drink. "The pot is still warm, but our cups have gotten cold again. If...there's any other food you want, something more...comforting, I'll see what I can grab."

Valerie Belrose ● notes: ● 000

MADE BY MIZO

 i am a flower quickly fading 

Something she was starting to see, or at least she thought she saw in Komachi. It sort of just clicked. The sort of almost jealous that Valerie had gotten to where she was in spite of. Playing down her own abilities. She wondered if Komachi wanted to accomplish something in her own right. Because it was too easy to think her father's success brought achievement,

"A... bit better. Thank you, Komachi-chan." she mentioned, with a slightly blush, and a genuinely grateful smile. It was the sort of smile you only saw when while someone was still hurting, they felt warm inside, "And... more tea would be lovely, thank you."

This had turned out to be an odd visit, but... it was nice.

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