Window Shopping Trip! (Misha)

Nao's eyes darted back down to the menu when she finally did catch the look in Misha's.  Concern was there.  Not the sort of concern that someone who was intimately close to a girl would express, but something rather more platonic.  Certainly not quite the same as what her parents would show, but definitely fitting for a friend or some other relationship of that sort.  Platonic.  Like friends.  Being friends with Misha was a wonderful experience to be sure, and it'd opened up a lot of doors for the author that might've otherwise remained shut or unseen.  They certainly got along decently enough when they got together.  Why did it make her heart hurt every time she got a reminder of their status as friends?  

Maybe, she thought, she could just pretend that she hadn't decided what she wanted after all.  Buy herself some more time to try and figure out what the best way to deal with the situation would be.  The brunette lifted the menu a little to obscure her blushing face while her mind raced for answers.  What would one of the girls in her light novels do about this?  If it were one of those books, she reasoned that the dramatic tension would be such that the girl with the crush evaded the question as long as possible.  She had all kinds of doubts about that other girl, and saying something would ruin what they had if the other girl thought it was weird for girls to crush on other girls.  Yeah.  So.. avoid answering until the proper conclusion time?  No, Nao didn't think her heart could handle that.  Komachi had given her advice on how to handle this, but putting that advice into action would be difficult for her.  Was it worse than the nagging doubts and pounding heart this all gave her anytime she and Misha went out together?  Maybe... not.

Nao could practically hear Komachi's voice in her head, telling her it needed to be done.  It was time.  Rejection might await Nao Kaneshiro here, but that would be something to deal with if it happened.  Uncertainty had become untenable.  So Nao slowly lowered the menu, fiddled with her thumbs for a few moments and then looked somewhat fearfully into Misha's eyes.  Didn't Misha deserve to know the truth?  They couldn't avoid it forever after all.  The author closed her eyes, her face scrunched up in anxious thought.. and then she looked over to Misha with a serious, very mature expression in place of that anxiety.  For this to be the best it could be, she wanted to leave no doubt that she was speaking as an equal, not as something like a little sister.

"Y-you want to know.. what it is?  I k-k-kind of wish that you hadn't noticed.  This makes things a lot harder but..." Nao began, shook her head, and then finally closed her eyes and said, "I-I-I've got someone I like very much, I've liked her for a  very long time.  I don't think she knows it right now, and she did notice it before maybe but didn't want to be that way with me.  But I have to say it now or I'll never be able to say it.."  Nao flinched as she blurted out, "Shirayama Misha-senpai, I... l-l-love.. y-you..."  And with that, she thought she was going to collapse in her chair.  Might be easier than dealing with what she expected to be another untenable situation to follow.

❝

Silently, patiently, blue-grey eyes watched Nao's reaction, that worried smile still remaining on Misha's face. It was rather refreshing, in a way, to see earnest nervousness, instead of the sort of displays which begged for attention despite ostensibly attempting to deflect it. And it was for that reason the baker was able to remain calm until Nao was finally able to put to words what had been in her mind.

Worry washed away as Misha sighed in relief, then smiled proudly at Nao, as if in celebration at the writer's accomplishment. There was a sense of serenity that wased over the chef, though Misha knew how strange and detatched it would be in this context. It was as if she was watching the confession from afar instead of being the person confessed too. But it was too late to question it now; all that was left was to go with the flow.

"Well, how do you feel now? A lot better now that you were able to say that?" Misha asked with a light chuckle. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see their waitress nearby. Thankfully, she had enough tact to read the atmosphere and standing a bit of a way from the table, watching silently. Curtly, politely, Misha ordered a serving of the yellow chicken curry for the both of them before looking Nao again.

"I think Komachi-chan will be proud of you. Having her talk to you was as much for her sake as it was yours," Misha continued, her voice calm as it was before as she looked out the window. Serenity gave way to nostalgia and whimsy as she grinned again. "Perhaps as she told you, her feelings for Yuki-chan were known to everyone, except for Yuki-chan, of course. It's been...a year. More, and she still carried that guilt. Hopefully she was able to spare you from that fate."

Slowly, Misha looked back to Nao, resting her chin on her palm, relaxed. "You aren't the first to tell me those words of that sort. And every time, I've always wondered, 'why me'? I'm sure Komachi-chan asked you this question before."

Blue-grey eyes looked directly into Nao's.

"Who am I to you?"

tag(s): Nao Kaneshiro ━ words: 000 ━ notes:

by MIZO.❉ of ww

It'd come out in an awkward statement of purpose, one which Nao wasn't sure at fist she could recover from.  She had been fighting both her feelings and the idea of sharing them for so long that it was completely bizarre to have them out in the public.  The brunette sat with a considerable blush on her cheeks as she listened to what Misha said about Komachi.  Given the emotion of her admission Nao was only partially processing those words which Misha spoke, while the rest of her mind overanalyzed her own admission.  This was incredibly new ground for her and she wished that she'd listened better when her moms had explained how they had met and then gotten together.  Maybe that kind of real world experience would help her understand what a girl was supposed to do with the situation at hand.

The girl whom she had developed strong feelings for sat across the table, chin rested upon her palm as she spoke.  Nao's mind drifted to her writings in search of a situation such as this, she must have written something at some point that could come close to this.  She set the scene on her mind's stage, a girl who had just confessed her long held feelings to an older girl who had been keeping herself at a distance.  Perhaps to keep herself or the other girl from getting hurt.  To protect someone's smile.  Yet now that the words had been spoken both girls uneasily looked away, then slowly looked back at each other.  Their eyes met.  Slowly they drew close to each other underneath the old tree that had been on the stately campus for generations; just as generations of couples before them had, the girls drew into a close embrace and their quivering lips drew near.  It was at this point that Nao realized she was daydreaming again.  With a bit of a start she shook her head to chase away the mental images which had brought one of her stories to life.  

In doing so she looked up at Misha again, eyes locked with the other girl's as the challenge issued.  A question which had been asked of her by Komachi just as Misha assumed, yet which didn't have a totally satisfactory answer.  Not for Nao.  Not for the author who had spent so many hours writing of romances between two innocent maidens in at times very flowery language.  It was quite different now that she was one of those innocent maidens feeling such powerful things for someone.  She owed it to Misha to explain this in the right way but her own style of explaining things like this wasn't going to be suitable.  That whole incident with the tea and Misha's dismissal of elaborate set ups for romantic situations showed how awkward looking to yuri novels would be. And then suddenly her words began moving faster than her thoughts of self doubt could stop them.

"You are the most important person to me.  Not just b-because you make my heart pound.. and s-skip beats just by being near me.  Not because you're the elegant oneesama who  a young girl looks to and sees as an unreachable queen on a far off throne.  Because you're Shirayama Misha, a kind, creative, gentle person who's made me believe in myself and shown me so many things I wouldn't have experienced before.  Because I really care about what your day was like, how you're doing, and.. I-I want to be there to support you even if it's just sorting ingredients or something," Nao blurted out, hands clenched nervously in front of her, "And these are feelings I can't run away from or hide.  So you.. y-you're.. someone I want to be with.. make happy.. and.. be o-ourselves together.. with.."

❝

Pride.

That was a strange thing for Misha to be feeling. She was proud of Nao. Proud of the way that she was able to push past her nervousness and fear to deliver her answer. In a way, Misha's question was a trick question - she knew who she was and didn't need to hear any of it. What was more important was the last two words, 'to you'.

Koma-chan...I'm sure you'd be proud.

With a slow breath, Misha closed her eyes and smiled, taking a moment to compose herself, to find the right words to say. And even when she did, her voice was different, it was softer, almost tired, but relieved. No more mask to uphold, no more expectations to fulfill.

"Thank you, Nao-chan. I do mean it. There really is no...right answer to that kind of question. But I've heard a lot of wrong ones." Eyes still closed, the chef chuckled softly, almost bitterly, but the bitterness faded fast into the smile. "And yours is...probably the best answer I could have hoped for."

With a turn of the head, Misha looked out the window of the restaurant and barely opened her eyes. The midday sun shone brightly through, as cheerful as the moment Nao and Misha had walked into the restaurant. Misha didn't know what she was looking for or what kind of ploy she was trying to pull, beyond going with the flow.

"You've picked quite a girl to fall in love with, Nao-chan." Misha said, continuing in that tired yet somehow happy voice. "Someone who's heard so many confessions that she became numb to them. How could she believe in such words anymore? How could she believe that someone could love her in that way. Besides, she had her younger sister to take care of. A myriad of cousins who looked up to her. There was no time, no place for such things."

Another side escaped Misha's lips as she looked back to Nao, sitting up straight in her chair. But it wasn't in the way she was sitting before; again, it was as if she was too tired to maintain that polite facade anymore.

"But that's not the case here. My cousins and sister are growing up now. And I can't treat you like them either. Sure...you're two years my junior, but that really doesn't matter does it? After all we've been through together...it's not right to treat you as a junior."For another chuckle, Misha closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them, her blue-grey eyes looking right into Nao's "You've always made me happy whenever you've been at my side, and I'm proud of you, what you've done for yourself, and grateful for what you've done for me. And...for lack of a better I'd like to keep going. To see you grow and become a wonderful woman, and perhaps I can grow with you."

Misha leaned forward, both her elbows now on the table, resting her chin atop her tended hands. Not the most formal and lady-like pose, but it was Misha pose. It took another sigh before Misha could speak, a worried smile on her face.

"So I make this request to you, Kaneshiro Naotora. If you can accept a girl whose heart has been afraid to open, and will still need more time to open...then I would love to remain at your side."

tag(s): Nao Kaneshiro ━ words: 000 ━ notes:

by MIZO.❉ of ww

Casting off the author's sensibilities was a difficult thing to do for Nao.  All the context she'd had for romance prior to meeting Misha had been what she'd written and researched through observing others.  So of course her thoughts were still drifting toward what would happen to the heroine of a yuri novel after she'd just confessed to the older, more elegant girl she'd fallen for.  Depending on the tone of the story it could actually end in rejection - or was that more Nao's fear about how it would turn out?  More likely the latter.  Things had been tense with Misha before this outing to the point that Nao had feared it very possible the other girl would outright turn her away and not want to see her.  Or worse still, only treat Nao like a younger sister rather than a partner of any sort which would cause the author's heart a great deal of pain; close, but distant enough to never be close as her heart desired.  Yet when Misha so thoughtfully replied to her confession and explanation of her feelings, Nao was floored.  

Her eyes went wide in surprise at the actual acceptance of her feelings.  This.. was happening.  It was actually happening, which was beyond the brunette's wildest dreams!  All the tenseness in her muscles was instantly gone as she took in the sight of Misha resting her chin atop her hands.  There sat the young woman she'd fallen for, not the distant lady other girls had almost certainly seen her as.  All that Misha was asking was that Nao be patient with her as she learned to open up, which meant growing together.  A request that fulfilled her wishes even better than she'd thought would be possible.  For dating wasn't something which Nao had ever really thought about as something that she did, rather than something a character in her books did.  Getting to learn and grown alongside Misha was just the thing she needed!

The brunette reached across the table to lightly touch Misha's hand, "I'm no expert at this kind of thing, even though I write books and stories about romance all the time.  There's so much stuff about.. stuff.. that I have to grow into.  If you're willing to grow into them with me, I.. I'd be over the moon.  We'll take all the time we need to open up.. to bloom."

Nao smiled gently and then laughed, "Oh dear, that sounded like a line from my stories.  I promise I'm not trying to get all flowery with you.. it's just hard.  Anyway.."  She lowered her hand, "If this makes us official-ish, then what do you think we should do to celebrate?"

❝

Seeing Nao reaction and subsequent relaxation banished that strange feeling of distance that was gripping Misha. The world around the chef seemed to finally have a sense of tangibility. She could feel the warmth of the sunlight shining through the window, smell of indian food wafting through the air, and the sight of Nao's hands reaching towards hers. Misha didn't move her hand away as she felt the ginger touch of the writer's hand, simply listening to Nao with a light smile.

In a way, Misha had worried that her explanation was too roundabout, but it seemed like it was the perfect metaphor for the writer, whose flowery words elicited a chuckle from the pale-haired girl. She shifted her posture, back to sitting upright, but not as stiffly as before as her chased after Nao's, clasping the other girl's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Official-ish?" Misha echoed with a soft and airy laugh. There was an amused smile spreading slowly across her face. "You make it sound as if there is some sort of paperwork involved to make it official. There isn't some sort of authority that bestows upon us the title of 'girlfriends', is there? As for celebrations..." Misha trailed off as blue eyes darted to the side where the waitress had been watching nearby. The chef was grateful that the woman serving them could read the atmosphere and held their order until the tension passed, and with a nod and a raised hand, Misha signaled that they were ready to eat.

"Well even though we came to this retaurant under different circumstances, I think we have celebration underway, at least in part," Misha said, looking back to Nao and taking another sigh afterwards. She still kept Nao's hand held in one of her own, but loosened her grip as her free hand tapped the side of the table.

"Come, sit beside me, Nao-chan," Misha invited as the waitress set their plate of curry down, near where Misha had gestured. "Let's enjoy together...?"

tag(s): Nao Kaneshiro ━ words: 000 ━ notes:

by MIZO.❉ of ww

Maybe Misha had just been joking about there being some formality to becoming official girlfriends, but there was actually some truth to the idea.  You only had to look at all the fictional depictions of girls in love with each other to catch on to some patterns which were common in all of them.  Doubt as to whether the feelings would ever be reciprocated was a traditional part of the formula which heightened the expectations of an audience.  They'd been through that.  Confessing under dramatic circumstances seemed to be awfully common, often with a location which had special significance for lovers.  That was where Nao's inner author felt like they'd been cheating on the formalities of yuri - just some restaurant wasn't romantic enough alone for such a major event.  A tree at the school would've been ideal, but here they were, cheating the traditions of girls' love.  It was right at that thought where Nao caught herself and blushed at giving in to the same patterns of thought which she'd been fighting to cast off around Misha.

Invited to sit next to Misha.. her girlfriend, Misha.. Nao stood a bit awkwardly from her current seat and stumbled a little to get around the table.  Her mind was still in a daze at the fact that her confession hadn't been turned away as she'd feared it would.  Misha accepted her and was willing to work at the issues which had made them a bit distant from each other before this.  Thankfully Nao didn't trip on anything and managed to flop down in the seat next to her date (her date!).  The author's eyes were downcast a little as she fought the storms of awkward thoughts which attempted to drive her back into fictional conventions.  Those weren't how to handle the situation at all. Somehow she'd kept her hand in Misha's the whole time, and once she looked up Nao was smiling in the ultimate relief that the occasion allowed her.  

"Sorry, Misha-san, I have to keep stopping myself from writing out our d-date as a scene in one of my books," Nao explained with a tiny laugh, "You're going to have to remind me when I'm  talking that way.  It's a hard habit to break when you've only written about dating." 

With that she gingerly lifted a spoonful of curry to her mouth and ate, making a rather pleased sound as she chewed and swallowed, "That's delicious!  Hot!  But delicious!"  Nao could already feel herself sweating a bit as she eyed the food, "So.. does that make this a hot date?"

❝

With a soft smile, Misha watched Nao shift to sit down beside her. The baker could see that Nao's mind was running a mile a minute and could only softly chuckle. It wasn't hard to imagine what was going on inside the author's head, and Misha nodded lightly as her suspicions were confirmed. Hesitantly, the baker reached out to Nao's shoulder, but by the time her fingers was just a bit away, Nao had already dug into the curry and Misha let her hand drop to her lap as she watched.

A faint hint of worry was writ on Misha's face as she waited for Nao's reaction to the curry. Indian yellow curries, at least from the blonde's experience, were not the spiciest of types, which is why she had picked it to share with Nao. Another sudden worry had hit the chef, as she realized beyond the pastries they had made together, she had no clue or recollection of what Nao's favorite foods or flavours were. Fortunately, it seemed like the author was more than amenable to the food, so Misha was able to relax, her shoulders visibly relaxing and even her formal posture had melted into something far more casual.

"Well, is that how you want define what a 'hot' date means for us, Nao-chan? We can go by the food?" Misha replied, reaching out to Nao again, hesitantly moving a stray hair around Nao's ear. Despite the calm face, her hand that had to be steady for food preparation seemed to be shaking, even as it withdrew to her lap. "So, if we went somewhere and had some ice cream, would that be a 'cool' date? Or a 'sweet' one?" A soft smile spread across the chef's face as she deftly picked up her spoon, flipping it and filtering it through her fingers, then took a few spoonfulls of curry herself.

Misha took her time in tasting the flavour of the curry. It was...as she expected. Not a bad thing, and the chef nodded in her approval. After another spoonful, Misha seemed to be lost in memory, but the moment passed and the baker put down the spoon with a shake of the head and looked to Nao. "Speaking of writing out scenes in our mind...while I never was one to plan every detail like my cousins...I would say that today definitely did not go as planned. But I don't mind. I'm happy. What about you, Nao-chan...?

tag(s): Nao Kaneshiro ━ words: 000 ━ notes:

by MIZO.❉ of ww